Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Learning if the Hard Way

I have never been much of a writer, so to put into words what God has been doing in my life over the past month is proving to be more difficult than I thought it would be. Bear with me! :)

Those of you who know me well, know that I like to have my ducks in a row, get as much done in a day as I can, do not do well with change and I do not (I repeat DO NOT) enjoy asking for help. So, in April when my back started bothering me I realized I needed to slow down – lesson #1. I figured my body was telling me that this pregnancy was taking it's toll on me a little more than the first three. Then in May when it was getting hard just to get up and down the stairs without crying I figured, okay, I guess chasing three littles and being pregnant is just going to be hard until September.

What I hadn't planned on however was my doctor telling me that I would need to go on modified bed rest – lesson #2. * For those of you who have done the bed rest thing I applaud you* Right away I knew this would present a problem, for one I have three kids 3 years old and under, and secondly, I don't sit around doing nothing very well. After a week of that and my pain only worsening, my doctor figured the pain probably wasn't related to the pregnancy. Bla bla bla, three doctors and a physical therapist later I have a bulging disk, am issued a cane and am signed up for 6 weeks of water therapy at the local senior center!

For those of you moms who are reading this, if someone told you to rest and only be on your feet when necessary how would you respond? EXACTLY! I asked my doctor if he provided child care! :) Now, because I am who I am, I figured, no big deal, I can handle bed rest and my three kiddos – WRONG. Boy did I try though. It took me a full three days before I could choke down my pride and call my mom for help – lesson #3.

That phone call was a little over 6 weeks ago and I am so thankful that God led me to that place. I can honestly say that I have never been put in a more humbling position. Most people are quick to say “sure I can bring a meal” (or watch your kids, or whatever your need may be), but how quick are we to say “I really need help right now.” ?

So what did I learn in all this (am still learning)?
  1. I am not, nor will I ever be Super Mom.
  2. It is okay to ask for help, it has been good for my kids to see other people helping in our home and it has been good for them to realize that mommy needs their help too.
  3. It is okay for the house to not look company ready 100% of the time.
  4. My priorities need to change

I really feel like God is showing me through all of this that how I spend my time is what matters most. Am I focusing on things eternal or on the here and now? So often I miss opportunities with my kids because it's “just a minute, let me finish the dishes” or “we'll read a story once we pick up all the toys”. I think about all the chances that I've missed to have those “eternal” moments. In the long run, once this 4th baby comes, I probably won't have time to make sure the house is spotless before you come over to visit (although I'll try), and the laundry will probably never be caught up completely. It's not to say that taking care of our things isn't important, because it is, but if that's my primary focus, something more important than my back is out of alignment. The jobs He has given me right now need to be my primary focus, and that is being the best wife for Tim, and mommy I can be to my three precious blessings.

So, what's your focus? 

*Stay tuned later in the week for a post all about what we'll be doing for school! (with LOTS of pictures :) ) 

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